Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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