I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
