Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
