Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
