I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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