did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
