So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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