I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
