why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
