Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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