and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
