She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
