i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
