1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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