I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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