Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Alive.
So much puke
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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