You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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