Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
