Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just blew my weed a kiss
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
