My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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