How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
pray to the hookup gods
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
