You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
