and you said cock pushups were impossible
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I am available for nakedness
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
