Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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