You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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