i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
