I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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