hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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