Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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