jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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