ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
