This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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