I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I will be naked everywhere
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
