But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Randomize
