Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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