If i come over, it means nothing
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We left an ass print on the piano.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
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