White coat. Heels.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
