I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
