whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think pants incapable of making pants work
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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