So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
