How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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