dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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