That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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