His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
