i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
