Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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