Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
