I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
