problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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