someone threw a dead crab at me
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
