I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
