i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
