every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
